Supporting someone who is grieving: what helps, and what doesn’t.

Supporting someone who is grieving can feel hard.
Often, we want to help — but we’re not always sure what to say or do.

There’s no perfect way to support someone through grief, but there are things that can make a real difference.

What helps

Being present.
Sometimes just sitting with someone, listening, and letting them talk is enough.

Letting them feel what they feel.
Grief doesn’t need to be fixed or rushed — it needs space.

Using simple, honest words.
“I’m here for you” or “I’m really sorry” can mean more than trying to say the “right” thing.

Checking in over time.
Support doesn’t end after the first few weeks — grief often lasts much longer than people expect.

What doesn’t help

Trying to fix or solve it.
Grief isn’t something that can be taken away — even with the best intentions.

Comparing experiences.
Everyone’s grief is different, and comparison can feel minimising.

Rushing the process.
There’s no timeline for grief, even if it looks different from what you expected.

Avoiding the conversation altogether.
Silence can sometimes feel more painful than saying the wrong thing.